hohoho.im simply typing this here cos i think my Diaryland has suffered too much abuse from random postings.anyway,no one comes here anymore riiiigh'?.... (:
blah,i cant believe that im wasting all my time on the net and not studying.like seriously,i think im becoming addicted or sth.oh wait,i already am.should i ask my parents to enrol me in one of those fucking china addiction camps or sth?yeah,i think a couple of electric shocks every morning should help to clear my brain.
it's like,stop living in this stupid fairytale world of make-believe where beautiful things happen man.all those words;it's all lies and other people's lives.first and foremost is your own life-my life.why i can't just fucking get that?oh my god i just feel like withdrawing myself from school and spending the rest of my life as a hikikomori.it's not as i need human contact.i LIKE it but i dont NEED it.as you can see,im perfectly happy living my silent little loner life.or maybe i'd just break down after the first week alone.hn.
i guess im just sick with the people around me now.all their stupid petty fights and dramas,what the fuck does it have to do with me and yet im still dragged into it.why do i always find myself in the centre of things and finding myself being blamed for things i didnt do?or to be more exact,being blamed for doing things which i wasnt
trying to do.
i lack affection in the wrong places and the people laying it on thick are the ones i dont even wanna see right now.what affection?oh man,school tmr.which means...
ok elise,please remember the One And Only,True Philosophy.never assume,never want,never hope.never jump into the flames and dont expect anything to move from where they are.stupid foolish emotions..man,where is my spaceship when i need it?im turning into such an Emo kid,only living vicariously through other people's lives.16 years on this Earth,and what have i accomplished?sometimes it seems i only exist to make other people laugh or smile,a temporary relief for them.and cos of that,they don't even bother to look deeper.they dont even think im capable of higher thoughts or feelings and it seems that only one person in my whole life has managed to hit on the fact that im fake.okay,not really fake but just not showing the side of me that i dont want people to know about.guh,im confused now.i think i really have a split personality and that sucks.whoop,heavy medication.haha i feel dumb typing all this emo shit out here.well if anyone reads this,erase it from your memory yeah?(:
school tomorrow,yet why do i fear?
it's just a simple matter of stepping out of one skin and into another.
